“Responsibility is not the Truth with a capital T. Its a point of view which I can choose to take regarding all of the events in my life. If I choose to approach life from the responsible point of view, it means giving up my excuses, my avoidances, all the manipulative games I play when I feel like a victim. In return, what I gain is freedom, clarity, and the empowering experience of being in control and in charge of my life.”
I have been playing the victim in my life for a quick minute now. I was able and willing to fess up to all of my mistakes, issues and most of my excuses, but because I couldn’t have the one thing I wanted, I moped and cried and overall just let my emotions run rampant. Since I don’t like to deal with my emotions (I hate crying for sure!), I got angry that I was having to deal with all of these crazy wild emotions. Then I got angry because others didn’t/could’t/wouldn’t deal with my emotions and so on and so forth.
Today is the start to a new week. It is the start to a new holiday season. Today is the day that I take back my control on my emotions and the things in my life that I need to stop letting others control. I am going to be responsible for myself and my words. I am going to do my best to stop letting my emotions control the decisions I make and start thinking with my head. Where my heart is, is not necessarily where my body can be and letting my heart do all the talking is certainly not helping me take back my control.
I am making a vow to myself to think before I speak, not let myself be controlled my emotions, give up what I can’t control, and take control of what I can. I am no longer going to do what others want just because I don’t want to deal with their feelings. Their feelings, wants, needs are no longer my concern. My feelings, wants, needs are my concern (this statement excludes my daughter). If someone doesn’t like what I have to say, what I am doing, how I am handling things, well guess what? Tough crap, that’s not my problem.
I realize I was letting others have all the control in my life because I thought if I did, then they would stay. If I give up myself, they’d realize I’d changed. When I gave them all the control, I gave up myself and they let me. Maybe they didn’t know I’d given them all the control, maybe they were taking my approach and didn’t give a crap. My guess would be the latter.
I read this last night on one of my new favorite blogs High Existence. It pretty much sums up my new life philosphy and has some great reads in there too!
“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.”